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So, uh, this is the first thing I want to “confess”, or talk about, or whatever.

I’ll...I’ll just go right out and say it.

I’m submissive.

Yes, as in sexually. Please don’t laugh, it’s really not funny, I’m so afraid of being

laughed at because of it. I was raised to understand that this sort of thing isn’t

right, that it’s immoral. But I can’t help what I like. And what I like happens to

involve being ordered around in the bedroom and-

Okay, so, I’d feel a lot better if I just laid out exactly what that means to me:

1) I’m not a slave; I wouldn’t want my partner to control every aspect of my

life. I am still independent, and I don’t enjoy being commanded outside of

the bedroom.

2) I enjoy being gagged. I enjoy being hit to a certain extent, but I’m not really

into being beaten to the point of bruising or welts. I don’t get off on just

someone laying into me either, it has to be someone I love, and it has to be

in a sexual context. So, if my partner started punching me for no reason, I’d

be extremely hurt and upset, not aroused.

3) I’m definitely not into being humiliated or insulted. Look, being different

while raised by very strict parents was difficult enough; being bullied didn’t

really help my self-esteem.

That feels...actually kind of better. As mentioned previously, I was raised to

believe that what I like is wrong, so I’ve kept it to myself for about as long as I

can remember. I know I shouldn’t feel so badly about it, but I’m still ashamed

to a certain extent.

Hopefully I’ll get better.